*Trigger Warning: The following article includes a discussion on self-harm. Please feel free to click away from this article if this topic may be a trigger for you.

            When the topic of self-harm crosses our minds, some of us may automatically think that it could either be a cry for help, or that the individual could be doing it deliberately as a means to seek for attention, especially when the act of self-harm is done by the younger generation (e.g., children or teenagers). As human beings, we may fail to understand what could possibly drive someone to deliberately hurt themselves. I mean, why would anyone want to feel pain, right? So, it must be to seek for attention? It’s not wrong for us to have that thought if this topic is fairly new to us and we’re not that aware of the factors that can contribute to the act of self-harm, but it is wrong for us to immediately judge individuals who self-harm and to have this preconception without knowing their stories. So why exactly do individuals engage in self-harming behaviours?

             First of all, classifying the act of self-harm as an attention-seeking behaviour carries the risk of it being invalidating and potentially dangerous for the individuals who engage in this behaviour. While some individuals who engage in self-harm may do so in order to communicate their distress that they feel inside, these individuals can also be engaging in self-harm for a variety of other reasons. One of these reasons are to help these individuals feel something when they are emotionally numb to the pain caused by their distress. The pain that they feel from the act of self-harm helps them feel human as opposed to not being able to feel any emotional pain. On the contrary, some individuals may also engage in self-harm in order to distract themselves from the pain that they experience emotionally. In other words, the physical pain helps take their mind off of their emotional pain. Besides that, individuals who are severely distressed may believe that they deserved to be punished, hence harming themselves could be their way of punishing themselves. And although some methods of self-harm that are chosen by individuals can be extreme and life-threatening, it’s important to note that the act of self-harm is not done as an intent to end their lives. However, studies have indicated that there is an increased risk of suicide in individuals that do engage in self-harming behaviours, and this risk of suicide increases with each episode of self-harm. For these very reasons, self-harming behaviours portray very real threats to our lives and should not be considered as attention-seeking behaviours.

            So, what can we do if an individual comes up to us and discloses that they have been harming themselves? First, it’s important for us to push away our own set of beliefs and judgements and commend that individual for speaking up about it. It is often difficult for individuals to talk about self-harm, more so for a child or teenager, especially if this is their very first time in reaching out for help, so when listening to this individual, try to be calm, open, and honest. It is best to try and view the situation from their point of view and to let the individual know that we support them and allow them to express their feelings. Next, it is important for us to ensure that they are safe and are not within the premises of materials that they could use to harm themselves further, such as sharp objects. If these individuals are below the age of 18 and we are not their parent or a guardian, it is best to disclose this information to their parents in order to provide the child with the best form of help. However, if the child does not come from a very supportive home, then referring the child to the school counsellor would be a helpful step as they would be able to conduct a further risk assessment. Finally, it is very important that individuals who engage in self-harming behaviours receive the right treatment to help reduce their distress. This may include a visit to a counsellor or a psychologist, which could be daunting. Hence, offer to follow them to their initial appointments if they are afraid or uncomfortable to go by themselves. Having someone there that they trust may help them feel less intimidated the first time around. 

Photo by discoverymood.com

            And as an extra tip, do not forget to look after yourself too! Helping individuals who engage in self-harming behaviours can be draining and upsetting, so get the right support when you need it and look after your physical and emotional needs as well!

Written by: Kiranjeet Kaur (MPS Psychological Services Intern)

References:

Klonsky, E. D., & Glenn, C. R. (2008). Resisting Urges to Self-Injure. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 36(2), 211-220. doi:10.1017/S1352465808004128

Zahl, D. L., & Hawton, K. (2004). Repetition of deliberate self-harm and subsequent suicide risk: long-term follow-up study of 11,583 patients. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 185(7). doi:10.1192/bjp.185.1.70